26. The grass is always greener

llarson · Post by **llarson** » Fri Aug 03, 2012 8:44 pm

THE GREEN COIN TRILOGY
24.The weed eater
25.Lawn mower sector 5
26.The grass is always greener

Requires:
Spectra jade
Mynameiskooky's rainbow arrows
Mynameiskooky's music pack at least at V5.0

I hope you people's enjoy this adventure. Sorry about the 2nd wlv. Please leave comments. HAVE FUN!

EDIT: 8 DOWNLOADS ALREADY!

THANK YOU!

Wonderman109 · Post by **Wonderman109** » Sat Aug 04, 2012 12:41 pm

10 downloads now...

|Cookie| · Post by **|Cookie|** » Sun Aug 05, 2012 1:14 am

Actions (6/10):
There wasn't good action, but i like the first part of the level! it was really good, i can say it's the best part of the adventure!
BUT NOW DON'T USE A LOT OF BRIDGE CHAINS!
The 2nd wlv was just bored..
I like the room when you must kill the chompers by POW, it's pretty fun a bit!

BUT DON'T USE IT A LOT!
Puzzles (0/10):
There wasn't any puzzles at all, it was really boring.

Scenery(3/10):
It was good looking, but it's still not really good.

Bugfree(10/10):
There wasn't any bugs at all, i haven't found any bug! good job!

Overall(19/40):
This adventure is a bit good, but you must work harder next time, here's some tips:
TRY TO PLAY MORE ADVENTURES:
Play other peoples adventures, to learn from them.

TRY TO MAKE THE ADVENTURE FUN, NOT BORING LIKE WALLKING ON A DARK ROOM OR RUN IN A REALLY BIG ROOM HAVE 1000000 CHOMPER! :
First, i guess it's better to start in a 20X20 room, when it's full, try to make it bigger if the room wasn't enough, i guess your rooms all are 40 X 40, that's make it boring!

TRY TO MAKE THE HARDEST PUZZLE AS YOU CAN:
Try to think like this way: How to complete the puzzle?? we must open the gate!
And how we could open the gate?? We must let the chomper press the round button!
And how we could do that? we must find the key to open the gate to free the chomper! and so on!

Hope i was useful for you!

StinkerSquad01 · Post by **StinkerSquad01** » Sun Aug 05, 2012 1:32 am

oh man.

I disliked this adventure a lot. There were no puzzles, not that there has to be any, but whatever. The music did not fit at all. Moving on, I found the first room very bothersome, and I thought everyone knew bridge chains were cliched to death. Dodging fireflowers ON them is even worse. What was the point of the cuboids even? Next, the Chomper Powing room. I don't know what to say, it's unoriginal, boring, and pretty annoying. After that was the big room with drunk chompers, that was the worst room of the whole adventure! It was so tedious, I was ready to quit by then. Then, the dark room. That was pretty unoriginal, and boring as well, by then I felt like playing the adventure was a waste of time. So we finally get the green coin, not that I know why we needed it, I didn't really bother playing the other adventures, knowing they would probably break or end up like this one.

You're at 26 adventures, and I'm not seeing much quality improvement. You need to slow down, and spend some more time on your adventures, llarson.

EDIT: One last thing: Why do you always have so much open space? It makes the place look ugly.

Master Wonder Mage · Post by **Master Wonder Mage** » Sun Aug 05, 2012 1:47 am

I'm not even going to bother with my typical critique sheet.

Llarson, you really need to spend much more time with your adventures. The scenery borders on being okay some of the time. When there are not vast open areas of nothing. The storyline is not good. There are very few if any plot twists. The biggest surprise I've had so far is that you actually did get the green coin. I've long forgotten why you needed it anyways, and I've played nearly all of your adventures. You overuse powing chompers a LOT. Bridge chains are increasingly unpopular, and adding fireflowers definitely does not make everything better. Your challenges are extremely easy, except for the powing chompers, which is just frustrating, and hunting for invisible buttons, which is even worse. It feels like you just add music you like to an adventure, disregarding the theme. Spend much more time and thought in each of your adventures. You're at 26 in 2 months and everybody else takes about a year and a half to get to that total. There's no rush to get adventures out. Just take your time.

Other than that, nice adventure.

llarson · Post by **llarson** » Sun Aug 05, 2012 2:11 am

Blah :/ I have No puzzle ideas when actually making my adventures so that's pretty much why they're bad. I have no ideas other than my storylines. And my action stuff is always tedious 'cause I have no ideas for that either. My next storyline will be somewhat decent but I have no ideas for the puzzles. (I really wish I could regret starting the coins but the main problem is that I don't)

@MWM: Thanks for the advice EDIT: And also there will be somewhat of a plot twist around "Years" (In the black coin octolagy) Revealing who the mysterious stinker is .

@Stinkersquad: Thanks for the advice too

@Kid Kid: Thanks for the advice . It'll be really helpful.

Wonderman109 · Post by **Wonderman109** » Sun Aug 05, 2012 2:21 am

I'm not grading this either. I don't think llarson needs any more hints than he's been given.

I think besides going too fast and making rooms too big, llarson's largest problem in adventure-making is a total lack of inspiration for puzzles and storyline. Face it, if a level has no storyline nor puzzle in it, it's not interesting even if it's 99 wlvs 100x100 full of action. I don't think the scenery or music is that bad in this level, excluding the drunk chomper area, (compared to what everyone else thinks,) but they could still use a lot of work as well.

Try harder, llarson, at taking your time on your adventures.

Here's what I suggest you do:

Start a new storyline. Just make up a plot. If you have no imagination, take a pencil and paper with you and an idea should hit you at some point. Jot it down so you don't forget. If you're completely stuck, base yor work on a bok or movie you like and adapt it to be a new story. Don't choose one that would require a lot of Command 22-ing or multiple wlvs looking the same.

Think up some funny characters and a dramatic, scary, humourous, or at least crazy storyline they have to go with them.

Make your rooms. They should not be huge nor tiny, but plot your scenery-placement, wall heights, level and water texture, weather, and whether the tiles are jagged, round, square, or smooth.

Make a puzzle or two to start in your first rooms. Action can come later and you can always shift around what comes first in your level.

Consider music last. That's my tip. It's a distraction if you don't, because there are already far too many custom music tracks as is and the huge choice can easily make you lose target.

Most importantly, don't rush. A fast adventure is usually tedious, small, and confusing or boring.

Got it?

|Cookie| · Post by **|Cookie|** » Sun Aug 05, 2012 2:35 am

llarson wrote:Blah :/ I have No puzzle ideas when actually making my adventures so that's pretty much why they're bad. I have no ideas other than my storylines. And my action stuff is always tedious 'cause I have no ideas for that either. My next storyline will be somewhat decent but I have no ideas for the puzzles. (I really wish I could regret starting the coins but the main problem is that I don't)

Then, try to get some puzzles ideas!

llarson · Post by **llarson** » Sun Aug 05, 2012 2:36 am

Wonderman109 wrote:I'm not grading this either. I don't think llarson needs any more hints than he's been given. At least I tried *Sniff*

I think besides going too fast and making rooms too big, llarson's largest problem in adventure-making is a total lack of inspiration for puzzles and storyline. Face it, if a level has no storyline nor puzzle in it, it's not interesting even if it's 99 wlvs 100x100 full of action. I don't think the scenery or music is that bad in this level, excluding the drunk chomper area, (compared to what everyone else thinks,) but they could still use a lot of work as well. I pretty much got the idea already

Try harder, llarson, at taking your time on your adventures. If I try any harder I'll explode

Here's what I suggest you do:

Start a new storyline. Just make up a plot. If you have no imagination, take a pencil and paper with you and an idea should hit you at some point. Jot it down so you don't forget. If you're completely stuck, base yor work on a bok or movie you like and adapt it to be a new story. Don't choose one that would require a lot of Command 22-ing or multiple wlvs looking the same. I already have that: The wonderwood trilogy

Think up some funny characters and a dramatic, scary, humourous, or at least crazy storyline they have to go with them. The psycho director

Make your rooms. They should not be huge nor tiny, but plot your scenery-placement, wall heights, level and water texture, weather, and whether the tiles are jagged, round, square, or smooth. Er that would make making puzzles hard wouldn't it?

Make a puzzle or two to start in your first rooms. Action can come later and you can always shift around what comes first in your level. I only have the first two rooms done

Consider music last. That's my tip. It's a distraction if you don't, because there are already far too many custom music tracks as is and the huge choice can easily make you lose target. Thanks

Most importantly, don't rush. A fast adventure is usually tedious, small, and confusing or boring. Again I already knew that only I release it after I'm basically done

Got it? yes

My comments are in bold.
Anyways I'll try harder in my next adventure which'll be a remake of one of my older adventures INCLUDING: Drama, Hindles cafe, Santa clause, A psycho director, lots of secrets, and a fail bridge chain. Ok I admit it, the bridge chain is probably not going to make it. However santa clause might but his reasoning is different as his original character was kinda stupid.
I also have some idea for a puzzle but I'm not too sure about where it'll go.