The Wonderland Board

"THIS IS NOT A FANFIC," read the sticky note on the refrigerator. Stinky blinked. What's that supposed to mean? He thought before deciding to pick up the sticky note and eat it. Hmm. It was quite bitter. Could have used a little salt.

Stinky was preparing to leave the kitchen when Loof walked into the room carrying a stick of butter. "Butter," he stated bluntly.

Stinky was confused for a moment before he realized what was going on. He took one step back, then another. "Loof...," he warned.

"Butter," Loof repeated, giving Stinky a reassuring smile as Stinky backed up against the wall.

The butter brushed up against Stinky's face, causing him to slowly morph into toast. It was quite a horrifying sight.

Once Stinky was just a piece of toast with a hat, Loof took the two items, sat down at the table, and prepared to eat them.

x-x-x-x-x

"No, Peegue!" Qookie snarled. "There will be no coitus!"

"B-but," Peegue stuttered, a pout marring his usually cheerful face. He was about to retort when he noticed something outside. "Look, Qookie!" He exclaimed, pointing at the window. "IT'S A HERBIVORE!"

"What?" Qookie walked up to the window and looked out of it. There was a UFO floating nearby. "Peegue, that's a-AHHHHHHH!" A fireball shattered the window and made contact with the back wall of the living room, causing Qookie's cottage to catch fire.

The two stinkers scrambled outside and Qookie gaped as she watched her beloved home burn to ashes. Peegue cried, having never received what he wanted.

Loof walked up behind Qookie and Peegue. "Toast?" He offered. Qookie turned around and saw Loof holding a piece of toast with a familiar-looking hat.

Qookie's jaw dropped. "You turned Stinky... into toast?!" Loof nodded. Qookie smiled. "Well, great! Let's eat!"

x-x-x-x-x

"I don't know, Mr. Zurkon," said Merchant Guy, who was observing several FireFlowers guarding some random floating spinning coins. "Maybe you could distract them by jumping on top of the hill and dancing or something."

"NO," Mr. Zurkon rejected his suggestion, "MR. ZURKON WILL DO THIS HIS WAY." He then proceeded to pick up a duck from the nearby pond and chucked it at one of the FireFlowers. The duck simply bounced off harmlessly. The FireFlower observed the intruder for a moment before going back to watching the coins.

Merchant Guy blinked. Something clicked in Mr. Zurkon's brain.

"ISN'T IT OBVIOUS?" He said. "WE NEED MORE DUCKS."

x-x-x-x-x

Loof began cutting the toast with Stinky's hat laying off to the side.

"Bye," Peegue said as he randomly began to fade.

Once Peegue was gone, Qookie scratched her head. "What?"

Loof shrugged as Stinky's hat began to float up behind him. Qookie blinked with horror. Just what was going on here?! Stinky's hat fell onto the floor where Loof was.

Loof was gone.

Qookie picked up the hat. Nothing there. The hat itself disappeared. Qookie recoiled. Stinky must be getting his revenge!

Qookie bounded up hills and over slopes as fast as she could. By the time she stopped, she was breathless. A random stinker stepped out from behind a large rock.

"SO," Mr. Zurkon said, putting on his most authoritative tone, "COULD AN HONORABLE CITIZEN LIKE YOURSELF SPARE ANY DUCKS FOR MR. ZURKON?"

x-x-x-x-x

Meanwhile, at Greedeemart, Merchant Guy approached Greedee.

"Do you happen to sell any ducks?" Merchant Guy pondered.

Greedee blinked. "Ducks? You want me to sell ducks? Is that a new business?"

"Well..."

"Alright! I'll get ducks! Barrels full of them!"

"How much will they cost?"

"Seventy coins per barrel."

Merchant Guy blinked. There were a lot of shiny, tempting coins near those FireFlowers, but this wouldn't be profitable. "No thanks," he said.

Greedee frowned as Merchant Guy turned and walked away. "Alright." He still planned to get tons of ducks, considering at least one stinker seemed to take interest in the water fowl.

x-x-x-x-x

Merchant Guy and Mr. Zurkon met up again.

"NO SUCCESS," Mr. Zurkon lamented. "AN HONORABLE CITIZEN SMACKED MR. ZURKON ACROSS THE FACE WHEN HE SEEKED DUCKS."

"Purchasing ducks from the market is so expensive!" Merchant Guy exclaimed. "I don't see a way to get so many ducks. We should just give up on your silly plan, Mr. Zurkon."

"WAIT," Mr. Zurkon said. "MR. ZURKON HAS PLAN."

x-x-x-x-x

"Welcome to AFRICA!" Peegue welcomed Loof.

Loof blinked and observed his surroundings. He was in a void of blackness. "This doesn't look like Africa to me."

"Well, it is Africa."

"How do you know?"

"I just do."

"Oh. I see."

The black void collapsed in on itself, crushing both Loof and Peegue to gruesome pulps. A sinister laugh that sounded suspiciously like Stinky could be heard.

x-x-x-x-x

Qookie was getting paranoid. Soon Stinky's wrath would come for her, too. If she was turned into a piece of toast, she would want to wreak havoc across Wonderland herself.

Suddenly, ducks. Thousands of them. They poured out of caves and rolled over hills. Qookie screamed as she was helplessly pulled along in the seas of yellow. Quacks flooded her ears.

Is this the end of Wonderland?

x-x-x-x-x

"THIS ISN'T VERY PRACTICAL AT ALL!" Merchant Guy blurted out as he and Mr. Zurkon surfed across the ocean of ducks on a dead tree.

"THE Z-BOTS OFFERED THEIR HELP," Mr. Zurkon explained, "SO THEY TELEPORTED DUCKS HERE FROM THE PLANET OF WDTW$%@#$TSDG."

Greedee floated by, holding several barrels of ducks. "THE DEMAND IS LOW AND THE SUPPLY IS HIGH!" Greedee cheered. "BUY A FULL BARREL OF DUCKS AT GREEDEEMART TODAY FOR JUST ONE COIN! A BARGAIN!" Merchant Guy just sighed.

Qookie floated by in the sea of ducks a moment later, having some sort of panic attack.

"I'm surrounded by idiots," Merchant Guy muttered under his breath.

x-x-x-x-x

Meanwhile, the Z-Bots had accidentally teleported a giant duck into the space above Wonderland, threatening to crush it. The duck hurtled towards the planet and smashed through it, causing several pieces of shattered planet to fly out into the cosmos.

Thus, everyone in Wonderland died.

The end.

‎

"Umm... Interesting," said a confused Emerald141.

MyNameIsKooky shook his head. "You don't realize the point? The meaning of this fanfiction is very deep... Well, actually, it's not a fanfiction, but one could call it that, yes?"

Emerald141 raised an eyebrow. Why is MyNameIsKooky breaking out into literature?

"I deem it necessary to do such a thing," MyNameIsKooky answered, both reading Emerald141's thoughts and breaking the fourth wall.

Nice story!

‎

^The moral of the story is that you should never turn your friends into toast.

Also, ducks will destroy the world.

MyNameIsKooky wrote:^The moral of the story is that you should never turn your friends into toast.

Also, ducks will destroy the world.

I never tried to turn my friend into toast,but I tried to turn one(Alex,a pretty fat kid) into a barbecue.

jozsefkoma wrote:

MyNameIsKooky wrote:^The moral of the story is that you should never turn your friends into toast.

Also, ducks will destroy the world.

I never tried to turn my friend into toast,but I tried to turn one(Alex,a pretty fat kid) into a barbecue.

Once my barbecue allmost blew up. XD

Awesome story, Kooky! When I saw it I just though "WOO HOO something like Kooky's plot for WA4!". :3

boywhoflies wrote:

jozsefkoma wrote:

MyNameIsKooky wrote:^The moral of the story is that you should never turn your friends into toast.

Also, ducks will destroy the world.

I never tried to turn my friend into toast,but I tried to turn one(Alex,a pretty fat kid) into a barbecue.

Once my barbecue allmost blew up. XD

Awesome story, Kooky! When I saw it I just though "WOO HOO something like Kooky's plot for WA4!". :3

Except not nearly as ridiculous.

I just wanted to show how much of a better writer I am than everyone else. *runs*

Not as random, but still funny. :3

You're probaly better than me. Whenever I wanna make a random story I think "What would Kooky do?". (No realy.)

And then the duck went moo? [size=0](reference to Judge Justick Juck Junky-Joonk by dlcs18.)[/size]

I like your brain, Kooky.

More literature.
I DEMAND IT~

I second that. XD

Blast!10 wrote:And then the duck went moo?

-.-

Blast!10 wrote:I like your brain, Kooky.

me2

~xpr'd wrote:More literature.
I DEMAND IT~

ok

-=-THIS IS NOT A FANFIC EITHER-=-

Guggenheimer sighed. Once again, he had to restart the entire Wonderland universe due to a freak duck-related accident. He had to resort to using his godly Floing powers that he had been secretly hoarding from all across Wonderland. Perhaps any dangerous incidents caused by ducks (and maybe Z-Bots) could be avoided this time around. We'll see.

Since the universe was restarted, Stinky and Loof were on their first quest to collect all of the rainbow coins; they had not yet met Qookie and Peegue and wouldn't meet them until they go on their quest to save the Wee Stinkers.

Guggenheimer promised himself to watch Stinky and Loof through his famous magic crystal ball. He could rewind time a little bit just in case either of the two adventurers did anything ridiculously stupid that would danger the entirety of Wonderland. Nothing stupid would happen, would it?

x-x-x-x-x

Stinky set one foot in front of the other. Baby steps. First Steps. This is Wonderland's first level ever. He got to the exit with ease and read the sign.

"I have to get inside that thing?" Stinky asked in disbelief, eying the rainbow exit. "HOW COULD I POSSIBLY FIT IN THERE?!" He tapped his foot for a moment, not expecting any answers. "Well then, I'm not going inside of this random exit if I don't have a reason too. I'll just eat it."

Stinky opened his mouth and his jaw unhinged. He let himself fall forwards as his mouth closed over the exit. The blue-hatted stinker shut his mouth and swallowed the exit whole. Tastes like rainbows, he thought, which was exactly what the exit was.

Now with nowhere to go, Stinky leaned against a wall. He didn't notice himself as he slowly morphed into a pigeon. Before he could do anything, Stinky had completely turned into a pigeon.

This is the power of the rainbow exits.

x-x-x-x-x

Guggenheimer slammed his fist down on the table. "No, no, no!" He snarled, looking at the new pigeon through his crystal ball. "This is not acceptable!" Guggenheimer prepared to rewind time back to the beginning of First Steps to revert the horrible deed that Stinky had performed.

Hyperventilating, Guggenheimer raised his hands where a large red ball of light began to form. This was an act of pure concentration and if you lost focus, things could become very fatal. However, this was completely necessary to save Wonderland - surely Loof couldn't do it himself.

The front door slammed open. Guggenheimer jumped and nearly lost his balance, but he still managed to keep the red ball of light. Greedee stood in the doorway, smiling and holding a thin rectangular package. "Pizza?" He offered.

Guggenheimer desperately shook his head. "You see, I'm very busy right now and I have VERY important work to do." He made a weak attempt at gesturing at the red ball with his foot, where he nearly lost his balance. Guggenheimer made a mental note to never stand on one leg when performing these magic rituals.

The smile on Greedee's face turned to some sort of mix between utter horror, rage, and disbelief. "You don't want Greedee's Perilously Patriotic and Pasty Pizza?" Guggenheimer glared at him. Greedee put on his best puppy eyes. "I know you're busy, but you could eat while you work, you know."

"I can't eat while I'm doing this!" Guggenheimer sputtered. He was getting quite agitated. It's a shame that Greedee's first job had to be that of an annoying pizza delivery man that tries to sell pizza to random people who just so happen to be very busy.

Greedee shook his head. "You don't look very busy. Why don't you put that extremely shiny glowing beach ball down?"

"I can't!" Guggenheimer said. "This is a very magic Floing orb! It's too risky to set it into contact with anything! It could revert a whole world to a previous state!"

"Now that's the most ridiculous thing I've ever heard!" Greedee scoffed. "You're definitely not a wizard. You seem more like some mockup of a clown dude who doesn't know how to look like a clown. You poor thing. Here, have some pizza."

Greedee took the pizza box and shoved the entire thing down Guggenheimer's throat. Greedee tried to force Guggenheimer to swallow the box, but Guggenheimer began retching. It was all he could do to hold up the glowing red Floing orb.

"Don't be such a toughie," Greedee said. "It's not that bad." He was smiling before he realized that he had forgotten to take the pizza out of the actual box. Oops.

Guggenheimer's eyes rolled up into his head and he collapsed. The Floing orb fell and shattered on the floor. The sound that occurred was a very high-pitched grass-shattering sound, quite painful to the ears. A red electric-looking explosion shot out through the entire outhouse (yes, Guggenheimer lives in an outhouse).

And then Greedee was a dinosaur.

x-x-x-x-x

Loof scratched his head. Where was Stinky? All he saw was a random pigeon floating overhead. Pigeons usually don't fly above the clouds, do they?

The pigeon landed beside Loof. "Cows," it said. And then the pigeon was a cow.

Loof's mind was successfully blown, so he transformed into a chocolate bar, which the cow proceeded to eat.

x-x-x-x-x

"MR. ZURKON IS GREAT. MR. ZURKON IS FANTASTIC. MR. ZURKON CAN BEAT YOU UP ANY DAY... BECAUSE HE'S BETTER THAN YOU." Mr. Zurkon proceeded to rip up one of his victims. It was quite gruesome. It would have been traumatizing if his victim wasn't a random basketball hoop.

Once the basketball hoop was a heap of rubble, Mr. Zurkon proceeded to stomp all over it. A rather large dinosaur crept up behind him.

Mr. Zurkon turned around and saw the dinosaur. He smiled in disbelief. "I THOUGHT YOU WERE-"

Before Mr. Zurkon could finish his sentence, Peegue had finished transforming Mr. Zurkon into a fruitcake. "That's what you get for clogging the traffic in Wondertown," Peegue explained, gesturing towards a nearby car which was in a nearly empty parking lot. Somehow, Peegue had not noticed the giant dinosaur standing in front of his face, so he went about his usual duties.

"Rawr," said the deprived dinosaur as Peegue began to walk away. Peegue turned.

"Oh, you must be the new crossing guard in town," Peegue said. "Come right this way, please." Peegue grabbed a foot of the dinosaur and pulled it along with his Hercules strength. The dinosaur sadly eyed the fruitcake it wanted very badly.

x-x-x-x-x

The universe was restarted. Stinky transformed into a cow. Loof was eaten by Stinky. Guggenheimer died by choking on a pizza box. Mr. Zurkon was transformed in a fruitcake. Worst of all, Greedee Dinosaur is doomed to become a crossing guard. WHAT WILL HAPPEN NEXT?

TO BE CONTINUED...

Lawl!

-waits for people to edit that one, too-

boywhoflies wrote:-waits for people to edit that one, too-

*insert angry rants about copypasta*

"Butter."

That part made me laugh.

MyNameIsKooky wrote:

boywhoflies wrote:-waits for people to edit that one, too-

*insert angry rants about copypasta*

Pasta? Where? I like pasta. What type of sauce? *insert innocent smiley here*

*bump* Ok, the beginning of the second paragraph was uncalled for.

'Stinky was preparing to leave the kitchen...' or 'Since the universe was restarted,'?

Or "Stinky put one foot in front of the other", or "'No, Peegue!' Qookie snarled. 'There will be no coitus!'"

StinkerSquad01 wrote:*bump* Ok, the beginning of the second paragraph was uncalled for.

You seem to be confused by the definition of "paragraph."

But if you're referring to what I think you're referring to, keep the definition to yourself. AAAUUUGHHHASASDFDSFGSG-

-wishes I knew what word it was so I could look it up-

*shot*

MyNameIsKooky wrote:

boywhoflies wrote:-waits for people to edit that one, too-

*insert angry rants about copypasta*

*insert deletion of copypasta here*

MyNameIsKooky wrote:

StinkerSquad01 wrote:*bump* Ok, the beginning of the second paragraph was uncalled for.

You seem to be confused by the definition of "paragraph."

But if you're referring to what I think you're referring to, keep the definition to yourself. AAAUUUGHHHASASDFDSFGSG-

Ahahaha, I knew someone would see that. I was really surprised you've managed to sneak that in, but I decided to not call attention to it... but I can join the bandwagon now that somebody has started it.