Complaint Letters

[DEEMAN223344]

Here's mine:
Because of Pres. Corrupt M Data's attitude I usually don't respond to his refrains, but this time I'll make an exception. What follows is a call to action for those of us who care—a large enough number to make pretentiousness unfashionable. Pres. Data is the type of person who will trump up any lie for the occasion, and the more of a thumper it is, the better he likes it. If the left of the current political spectrum is ruthless priggism and the right is addlepated autism then Pres. Data's politics are unequivocally going to be a form of prodigal absenteeism. If Pres. Data thinks his lamentations represent progress, he should rethink his definition of progress. Even Pres. Data must concede that he is becoming ever more audacious in his unappeasable hatred of us. The same might be said of balmy, paltry politicasters. My usual response to his self-fulfilling prophecies is this: Possession-obsessed scapegraces, motivated by either Bulverism or a desire to lead a cruel, narrow-minded life, are eager to help him flout all of society's rules. However, such a response is much too glib and perhaps a little phlegmatic, so let me be more specific. If we look beyond his delusions of grandeur, we see that Pres. Data fervently believes that arriving at a true state of comprehension is too difficult and/or time-consuming. This shows that he is not merely mistaken about one little fact among millions of facts but that Pres. Data will shift blame from those who benefit from oppression to those who suffer from it any day now. When that event happens, a darkness and evil exceeding anything seen in history will descend over the world. I can hope only that before it does, people will expand people's understanding of Pres. Data's beer-guzzling commentaries. Only then can we eschew coldhearted antipluralism.

Given that Pres. Data's opinions will send us to Hell in a handbasket by next weekend, isn't it obvious that Pres. Data wants to see a love of Comstockism inculcated in children from a very early age? He is the embodiment of everything petty in our lives. Every grievance, every envy, every dastardly ideology finds expression in Corrupt M Data. That fact is simply inescapable to any thinking man or woman. "Thinking" is the key word in the previous sentence. We must all face the storm and stress of dealing summarily with inattentive nitwits. This exercise will, at the very least, demonstrate to the world that we must stop the Huns at the gate in such a way that there is nothing Pres. Data can do about it except learn to live with the fait accompli. The mere mention of that fact guarantees that this letter will never get published in any mass-circulation periodical that Pres. Data has any control over. But that's inconsequential because Pres. Data's belief is that he should be free to impose a narrow theological agenda on secular society. Hey, Pres. Data! Satan just called; he wants his worldview back.

Pres. Data says that the rules don't apply to him. Although Pres. Data indubitably cut that statement out of whole cloth, he thinks it would be a great idea to further political and social goals wholly or in part through activities that involve force or violence and a violation of criminal law. Even if we overlook the logistical impossibilities of such an idea, the underlying premise is still flawed. It's possible that he doesn't realize this because he has been ingrained with so much of neocolonialism's propaganda. If that's the case, I recommend that we reveal the constant tension between centripetal and centrifugal forces of dialogized heteroglossia resulting from his epithets. Let me end this letter by telling Pres. Corrupt M Data that I fully intend to free his mind from the constricting trammels of propagandism and the counterfeit moral inhibitions that have replaced true morality. This action is lawful. This action is moral. And this action is right.
----- That fits Corrupt Data from Wefight very VERY well, hmmm.....
http://www.pakin.org/complaint

[TheoX]

My head hurts.

[DEEMAN223344]

Another related one.
Unless you want to accumulate a long list of examples of Kill-Deeman Inc.'s acts of corruption and depredation, this letter may become a bit monotonous. However, I indubitably do hope you read it all the way through because there's a patronizing, choleric bozo born every minute. So, without further ado, I present you with this all-important piece of information: It's Kill-Deeman Inc.'s deep-seated belief that it has a fearless dedication to reason and truth. Sure, it might be able to justify conclusions like that—using biased or one-sided information, of course—but I prefer to know the whole story. In this case, the whole story is that as that last sentence suggests, if one dares to criticize even a single tenet of Kill-Deeman Inc.'s allocutions, one is promptly condemned as logorrheic, haughty, namby-pamby, or whatever epithet Kill-Deeman Inc. deems most appropriate, usually without much explanation.

Kill-Deeman Inc. proclaims at every opportunity that it'd never bribe the parasitic with the earnings of the productive. The organization doth protest too much, methinks. People who are attacked by unsympathetic, brown-nosing jokers basically have three options. They can ignore the attacks, engage the attackers in a debate, or apply some sanction that will put an end to the attack.

Kill-Deeman Inc. has been trying to convince us that we should derive moral guidance from its glitzy, multi-culti, hip-hop, consumption-oriented vituperations. That argument fails to take into account the reality that the only weapons Kill-Deeman Inc. has in its intellectual arsenal are book burning, brainwashing, and intimidation. That's all it has, and it knows it. Those of us who are still sane, those of us who still have a firm grip on reality, those of us who still assert that Kill-Deeman Inc. demands its freedoms while unhesitatingly and hypocritically encroaching upon the rights of others, have an obligation to do more than just observe what Kill-Deeman Inc. is doing from a safe distance. We have an obligation to lay out some ideas and interpretations that hold the potential for insight and encourage others to do the same. We have an obligation to denounce its publicity stunts. And we have an obligation to uphold peace, freedom, democracy, and justice. Let me sum up. Kill-Deeman Inc. craves crisis.
---- The "Corruption" statement makes me think that whoever made that site reads wefight.

[Nobody]

Corruption is common in complaint letters.

Also, you didn't give me credit for first linking to the site on wefight, you bad, bad, person.

[DEEMAN223344]

Corruption is common in complaint letters.

Also, you didn't give me credit for first linking to the site on wefight, you bad, bad, person.

Sorry.
Hmmm....

People find Wefight's unrelenting, over-the-top hostility rather refreshing? It's okay if Wefight's screeds initially cause our quality of life to degrade because "sometime", "someone" will do "something" "somehow" to counteract that trend? Wefight would sooner give up money, fame, power, and happiness than perform an ill-natured act? These are all claims made recently by Wefight. Perhaps before going on, I should describe Wefight to you. Wefight is violent, mischievous, and gutless. Furthermore, it yearns to raise extortionate demands.

Wefight must think that being sadistic entitles one to sharpen intergroup tensions. You might not care that just thinking about Wefight's deplorable objectives is giving me a two-Tylenol headache, but you'd better start caring if you don't want Wefight to inspire a recrudescence of judgmental fatuity. Perhaps it sounds like stating the obvious to say that it takes more than a mass of lousy lumpenproletariats to follow through on the critical work that has already begun. It takes a great many thoughtful and semi-thoughtful people who are willing to make the world safe for democracy. Namby-pamby nutters differ from each other only in the degree to which they destroy our moral fiber. Yet the Establishment media consistently ignores, downplays, or marginalizes this fact.

The essential point, however, is the following: If Wefight feels ridiculed by all the attention my letters are bringing it, then that's just too darn bad. Its arrogance has brought this upon itself. Wefight's grunts compress Wefight's prank phone calls into brief, highly reductive, definitive-sounding phrases, easily memorized and easily expressed. I explained the reason for that just a moment ago. If you don't mind, though, I'll go ahead and explain it again. To begin with, its intent is to prevent us from asking questions. Wefight doesn't want the details checked. It doesn't want anyone looking for any facts other than the official facts it presents to us. I wonder if this is because most of its "facts" are false. Let us now speak out against what I call crabby, treacherous yutzes because in that is our only hope for the future.

[Nobody]

ORLY?

This letter contains some tough news. It's not pleasant to hear, but it's very important, and it's part of telling the truth. It is worth noting at the outset that if anything will free us from the shackles of DEEMAN223344's pernicious, benighted tracts, it's knowledge of the world as it really is. It's knowledge that I know some putrid, baleful fribbles who actually believe that might makes right. Incredible? Those same people have told me that people prefer "cultural integrity" and "multicultural sensitivity" to health, food, safety, and the opportunity to choose their own course through life. With such people roaming about, it should come as no surprise to you that he wants nothing less than to turn propagandists loose against us good citizens. His surrogates then wonder, "What's wrong with that?" Well, there's not much to be done with self-serving vagrants who can't figure out what's wrong with that, but the rest of us can plainly see that DEEMAN223344's hatchet jobs are becoming increasingly tyrannical. They have already begun to undermine the individualistic underpinnings of traditional jurisprudence. Now fast-forward a few years to a time in which they have enabled DEEMAN223344 to rot out the foundations of our religious, moral, and political values. If you don't want such a time to come then help me denounce those who claim that it is better that a hundred thousand people should perish than that DEEMAN223344 should be even slightly inconvenienced. Help me lead the way to the future, not to the past.

Do you, like DEEMAN223344, think that DEEMAN223344's blessing is the equivalent of a papal imprimatur? If you do, you're very raucous. The fact is that I, for one, have a hard time reasoning with people who remain calm when they see DEEMAN223344 displacing meaningful discussion of an issue's merit or demerit with hunch and emotion. Purists may object to my failure to present specific examples of his wayward machinations. Fortunately, I do have an explanation for this omission. The explanation demands an understanding of how DEEMAN223344 says that the purpose of life is self-gratification. I've seen more plausible things scrawled on the bathroom walls in elementary schools.

DEEMAN223344's formula for obstructionism is more rash than ever. It is unclear whether this is because DEEMAN223344 throws a temper tantrum every time I suggest that the only thing protecting the people of this world from his Pecksniffian agendas is our love of freedom and concern for justice, because there will be public outrage if he tries to violate values so important to our sense of community, or a combination of the two. I acknowledge freely and make no apology for the fact that I once considered it reasonable for the worst sorts of oleaginous, harebrained crackpots there are to interfere with my efforts to ring the bells of truth. But now I know that his fans allege that women are spare parts in the social repertoire—mere optional extras. This is precisely the non-equation that DEEMAN223344 is trying to patch together. What he's missing, as usual, is that if he is going to defy the rules of logic, then he should at least have the self-respect to remind himself of a few things: First, an axiom among his spinmeisters is that there is an international Communist conspiracy to sap and impurify all of our precious bodily fluids. And second, his epigrams are based on a denial of reality, on the substitution of a deliberately falsified picture of the world in place of reality. And this dishonesty, this refusal to admit the truth, will have some very serious consequences for all of us by the end of the decade.

In a recent essay, DEEMAN223344 stated that national-security interests can and should be sidestepped whenever his personal interests are at stake. Since the arguments he made in the rest of his essay are based in part on that assumption, he should be aware that it just isn't true. Not only that, but he has not increased our safety, security, or happiness by extirpating the very things that I cherish. All he's increased by doing that is the girth of his bloated ego. Let me close by reminding you that solipsism is the last refuge of the vengeful.

There was actually more than that.

[MyNameIsKooky]

This reminds me, I once used this to post a rant on Justin Bieber on Facebook.

[DEEMAN223344]

NYO. DON'T YOU DARE START A FLAMEWAR. I WAS MAKING A REFERENCE TO SOMETHING IN WEFIGHT, AND YOU START A FLAMEWAR.
When assessing Flamewars's schemes, one need not resort to vicious name-calling or opprobrious epithets. One need only present the facts. Let me get to the crux of the matter: Even if one is opposed to hate-filled tuchungism (as I am) then, surely, it's amazing that witless blusterers like Flamewars still exist in this day and age. For the benefit of any doubting Thomases I will prove that point via an explanation of how all the deals Flamewars makes are strictly one-way. Flamewars gets all the rights, and the other party gets all the obligations. Flamewars twists every argument into some sort of "struggle" between two parties. Flamewars unvaryingly constitutes the underdog party, which is what he claims gives him the right to make my blood curdle.

In light of my stance on this issue, Flamewars's latest diatribe is Flamewars-style lunacy at its very finest. Every despicable word of that diatribe paints a perfect picture of Flamewars's hysteria and reveals that I have traveled the length and breadth of this country and talked with the best people. I can therefore assure you that I should note that Flamewars has been known to teach our children a version of history that is not only skewed, distorted, and wrong but dangerously so. That always spurs on his hirelings to rob us of our lives, our health, our honor, and our belongings. That, in turn, encourages Flamewars to siphon off scarce international capital intended for underdeveloped countries. This cycle inevitably, inexorably ratchets upwards and outwards until at last some irritable gasbag winds up creating a global workers plantation overseen by transnational corporations who have no more concern for the human rights of those who produce their products or services than Flamewars has for his bedfellows.

Flamewars should stop calling me a prudish swindler. Although I've been called worse things by better people, no man who values himself, who has any regard for sound morality, or who feels any desire to see intellectual progress made certain, can rightfully join Flamewars's yellow-bellied attempt to impose ideology, control thought, and punish virtually any behavior he disapproves of. He has been trying to conceal his plans to plague our minds. Fortunately, the truth about his abominable intimations is spreading like a jungle fire. Soon, everyone will know that griping about Flamewars will not make him stop trying to make human life negligible and cheap. But even if it did, he would just find some other way to persecute the innocent and let the guilty go unpunished. I would be honored to have him oppose anything I supported. You might aver I'm telling you this because I like to beat up on him. Really, that isn't my principal reason. I don't especially need to beat up on Flamewars because he is already despised by decent and knowledgeable people almost everywhere. In closing, I ask that you swear in the holy sanctuary of your soul that you will never stop advancing freedom in countries strangled by tyranny. That's how I live my life, and that's how you should consider living yours.

[MyNameIsKooky]

Flamewar? What flamewar? You're the one who generated a rant about Wefight in the first place, anyways.

[DEEMAN223344]

It was a reference.
Now here's a rant about MS's evil counterpart!
Congratulations to Daylight Antinergy for saying that two wrongs make a right. That obviously wins the prize for being the most brazen and irresponsible thing I've ever heard. Before I start, however, I should state that to understand what its particularly primitive form of blackguardism has encompassed as a movement and as a system of rule, we have to look at its historical context and development as a form of gormless politics that first arose in early twentieth-century Europe in response to rapid social upheaval, the devastation of World War I, and the Bolshevik Revolution. Once you cut through the bravado, misconceptions, and ignorance, you'll find that Daylight Antinergy and its helpers are the apocalyptic riders of world annihilation. But let's not lose sight of the larger, more important issue here: Daylight Antinergy's daft threats.

My empirically validated theory is that when I first realized that I can't let Daylight Antinergy toss sops to the egos of the oligophrenic, a cold shudder ran down my back. So what's the connection between that and its slurs? The connection is that Daylight Antinergy apparently believes that brusque, untrustworthy sideshow barkers are easily housebroken. You and I know better than that. You and I know that Daylight Antinergy looks down upon the rest of us. From its perspective, we are blind so it must tell us what to see; we are deaf so it must tell us what to hear; and we are mute so it must tell us what to say. Such views may fool what I call parasitic peddlers of snake-oil remedies, but I allege that the irony is that Daylight Antinergy's most grotesque ventures are also its most exploitative. As the French say, "Les extremes se touchent."

Daylight Antinergy focuses on feelings rather than facts. Sure, it attempts to twist and distort facts to justify its feelings, but that just goes to show that many members of Daylight Antinergy's cabal believe that the world can be happy only when Daylight Antinergy's entourage is given full rein. Even worse, almost all of Daylight Antinergy's advocates believe that we ought to worship unsympathetic savages as folk heroes. (One would think that the mammalian brain could do better than that, but apparently not.) My point is that there's a time to keep silent and a time to speak. There's a time to love and a time to hate. There's a time for war and a time for peace. And, I warrant, there's a time to tear down Daylight Antinergy's fortress of factionalism. Or, to put it less poetically, Daylight Antinergy's précis are characterized by a preachy arrogance unbefitting to something that knows so little. I always catch hell whenever I say something like that so let me assure you that it wants to control every aspect of our lives. Daylight Antinergy wants us to rise, fall asleep, work, and live at the beat of a drum. Then, once we're molded into a uniform mass, we'll be incapable of seeing that no man who values himself, who has any regard for sound morality, or who feels any desire to see intellectual progress made certain, can rightfully join Daylight Antinergy's disorganized attempt to recruit and encourage young people to destroy our country from within, just as older drug dealers use young kids to push drugs. Daylight Antinergy revels in its catty campaign to contaminate or cut off our cities' water supply. There; my ranting is finished.



________

This letter tells a story about power and politics and propaganda, about the tension between respectable, hardworking people and illiberal sewer rats like Daylight Antinergy. It is a story about Daylight Antinergy's efforts to "solve" all our problems by talking them to death. Before I say anything else, I'd like to state the following disclaimer for Daylight Antinergy's benefit: Warning! This letter may contain sarcasm. Okay, now that that's taken care of, let me posit the hypothesis that our battle with Daylight Antinergy is a battle between spiritualism and cynicism, between tradition and subversion, between the defenders of Western civilization and its enemies. With the battle lines drawn as such, it is abundantly clear that the ultimate aim of Daylight Antinergy's calumnies is to restructure society as a pyramid with Daylight Antinergy at the top, Daylight Antinergy's dupes directly underneath, bitter, anti-democratic shysters beneath them, and the rest of at the bottom. This new societal structure will enable Daylight Antinergy to bring discord, confusion, and frustration into our personal and public lives, which makes me realize that the impact of its materialistic codices is exactly that predicted by the Book of Revelation. Evil will preside over the land. Injustice will triumph over justice, chaos over order, futility over purpose, superstition over reason, and lies over truth. Only when humanity experiences this Hell on Earth will it fully appreciate that I can promise freedom-lovers everywhere that my priorities, observations, countermeasures, and predictions are not in any manner similar to those embraced by Daylight Antinergy. We can therefore extrapolate that it's a pity that two thousand years after Christ, the voices of otiose bohemians like Daylight Antinergy can still be heard, worse still that they're listened to, and worst of all that anyone believes them.

There is no compelling moral or economic reason why Daylight Antinergy should peonize and enslave its adversaries. Disguised in this drollery is an important message: It has repeatedly threatened to muddy the word "philosophicojuristic". Maybe that's just for maximum scaremongering effect. Or maybe it's because Daylight Antinergy is neither morally nor intellectually consistent. If it were, it wouldn't first break us up into a set of quarreling, wrangling, squabbling factions then afterwards decry my observation that if you've read any of the self-righteous, rambunctious slop that it has concocted, you'll definitely recall its description of its plan to lay waste to the environment. If you haven't read any of it, well, all you really need to know is that someone has to be willing to provide some balance to Daylight Antinergy's one-sided ethics. Even if it's not polite to do so. Even if it hurts a lot of people's feelings. Even if everyone else is pretending that I'm too craven to tell it like it is.

I'd peg the odds at about six to one that Daylight Antinergy will threaten national security by next weekend. If I'm wrong, I promise that I'll gladly self-censor my critique of it. There is no reason to gag free speech and there is every reason not to. To a lesser degree and on a smaller scale, I love hearing the claims of a daft lummox who doesn't realize that it's a daft lummox. As a case in point, consider Daylight Antinergy's claim that it does the things it does "for the children". Such claims always make me laugh because, as we all know, Daylight Antinergy ignores a breathtaking number of facts, most notably:

Fact: The name Daylight Antinergy has become nearly synonymous with incomprehensible evil.

Fact: I doubtlessly intend to exercise my franchise to hinder the power of inimical, maledicent agitators like Daylight Antinergy.

Fact: The drivel emanating freely from Daylight Antinergy's offices gives me cause to reach for the nearest vomit pail.

In addition, if we do nothing, Daylight Antinergy will keep on rendering unspeakable and unthinkable whole categories of beliefs about power. One cannot change this all in a moment, but one can bring meaning, direction, and purpose into our lives. In short, Daylight Antinergy's fixation on anarchism is nothing more than camouflage for a lack of original ideas.

[LittleZbot]

*gets seven(or was it six) headaches in a row*

[Nobody]

Reference? What? And I didn't start a flamewar either.

[DEEMAN223344]

Reference? What? And I didn't start a flamewar either.

Make my complaint letter a unsaid quote by a random wedestroy dude, WAIT! DON'T! YOU'LL DESTROY OUR BRAINS! NOOOOOOO!

[VirtLands]

What in the world ? This is all very surreal,
I have no idea what you guys are talking about.. ,

Because of Pres. Corrupt M Data's attitude...

..examples of Kill-Deeman Inc.'s acts of corruption and depredation..

..shackles of DEEMAN223344's pernicious, benighted tracts..

..his Pecksniffian agendas is ou...

..This letter tells a story about power and politics and propaganda...

[MyNameIsKooky]

It's from a complaint generator. No one is able to understand Deeman anyways. Not beeg sooprise.

[DEEMAN223344]

[Nobody]

The funny part of a Midnight Synergy rant I made wasn't how it said how awful Midnight Synergy was, but that this part was kind of true:

one of Midnight Synergy's favorite tricks is to create a problem and then to offer the solution.

Indeed, Midnight Synergy does create problems in the form of puzzles in the Wonderland series, and does offer solutions to them on the walkthrough pages of those games. *slapped*