To Mahaloof :-D
Well, chewy bones is one thing, them being canines 'n all. But young doggies should just play with their tails or each other. So please take their Nintendo's away until they're older....My two Yorkies have taken up fighting with each other! Confused I don't understand! They've been getting so jealous of each others toys and chewy bones lately.
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rescuefire
- Rainbow MegaStar
- Posts: 3406
- Joined: Tue Jun 06, 2006 3:20 pm
Blessed are those who can give without remembering and take without forgetting.
Finally!!! Finaly I managad to find an internet café that doesn't ask for my ID.
Oh Bunny, what a draedfull mistake I made. I tought to check out another possiblle honeymoon destination, but it's turning into a nightmar. I have to typ fast as I don't know how much time I have at this momont. I wasnt sure until today but I'm being follo
Oh Bunny, what a draedfull mistake I made. I tought to check out another possiblle honeymoon destination, but it's turning into a nightmar. I have to typ fast as I don't know how much time I have at this momont. I wasnt sure until today but I'm being follo
Ok now, you must stay in the Internet Cafe for now. Let them leave the area. I didn't know they had Sandy!!! 
How did they get her.....this is dreadful!
So if you can't get home, you're going to have to think extra hard....and fast!
Can you make it back to the computer and at least tell me the second letter, after the "S", so I will have a better idea of what you've gotten yourself into!?!?
Please don't panic!!! You've got to think clearly...this is critical!
How did they get her.....this is dreadful! So if you can't get home, you're going to have to think extra hard....and fast!
Can you make it back to the computer and at least tell me the second letter, after the "S", so I will have a better idea of what you've gotten yourself into!?!?
Please don't panic!!! You've got to think clearly...this is critical!
What luck! 
I couldn't shake them off. But as I was moving through a series of highrise buildings to confuse them, a door suddenly opened and the tenant said: "In here, quick!" And he has a computer too!
I'll start at the beginning, sweets. My way of thinking was that historical places many times evoke romantic feelings. Like London, Paris or Detroit. And I do mean histórical, not hysterical... So I thought a visit to the Hermitage would be impressive, as well as a walk on the famous Red Square and other places. Yes, I mean good old Russia! 
I packed some stuff on Sandy's back, mounted and simply said: "Go East, young girl!" Sandy giggled and started to stretch her legs...
On the 7th day we approached the Russian border. Because of all the snow in the area, both Sandy and me were wearing dark sunglasses. Our passing through was always met with lots of giggling and pointing from local villagers. I guess they'd never seen a grown-up man with white-green shoes before...
Right at the border Russian officials observed and sniffed us from all sides, clearly distrustful and not at all happy. I asked if there was a problem. Then the chief, or начальник as they say, pointed down and said: "You pose as tourist with white-green shoes, but I not fool. You British spy, both of you! Your sunglasses are giveaway. Come to check our Elections? I think not!"
For a moment I stared at him completely dumbstruck, then I realized it's a Friday afternoon and he's just making a joke.
"Sure I'm a spy," I remarked cheerily. "The name's Bond. Loofah Bond. Brother of James, the famous one. And this is Sandy the Bush Kangaroo. Sister of Skippy, the other famous one." Sandy looked surprised and a little indignant at this. However..... начальник and colleagues didn't think it funny at all. Pointing to Sandy he yelled: "You all hear it. Take to back lot and check baggage. Check out hump too. Could be satellite dish in disguise!"
Before I could protest or ask if he'd ever seen 'The Twilight Zone', my hands got tied behind my back and I got this black hood over my head. Then I was forced into a car and we drove off. начальник was sitting next to me. From time to time he said things like: "We get to your bottom of this, Loofah Bond. They have ways of making Westerners talk."
No words can describe what went on in my mind or even if I still had one. So I'll just say: Kebloin fif zbrdonia mukmuk piiif hoto moto nazdrovje!
Hours later I found myself in this bleak interrogation room. Obviously, as there was a poster on the wall showing an unsmiling president Putin (the only kind available), with English text underneath: 'We have ways of making Westerners talk!'
For a long time, could be days or even hours, they questioned me.
"Your name?"
"Mahaloof.."
"Mahaloof what?"
"Spy. Mahaloof the Spy, you idiot. Let me out of here!"
"Flattery will get you nowhere. Social Security Number?"
"What?! You think I know this from memory? Go play the balalaika!"
"Ah, music lover. What instrument do yóu play, oh smart one?"
"Instrument? Look, I just came here to check out Moscow as a honeymoon destination, that's all."
"That is secret code word for meeting Russian contact? 'Honniemoon'? Very strange..."
. ...Some time later this shady looking man in a long black coat, wearing a hat and sunglasses came in. He looked a bit like Laurence Olivier. The interrogator told him he had 10 minutes exactly. Mr Shady opened a bag revealing all kinds of dental instruments (*shiver*) and slyly asked: "Is it safe?"
I thought to be smart be saying: "Yes, it's safe."
Then he put this spiky thing on my front teeth and asked again: "Is it safe?"
"No! No, it's not safe!" I yelled. (Looking back now I should have recognised it, but I got into a panic).
At this point the interrogator stepped in and asked Shady what his plans were and what exactly was supposed to be safe. Shady told him: "It doesn't really matter. It's a famous..."
"What? Are you Russian Maffia or not?"
"Eh? No, I'm student from Moskva Film Institute. This is scene from 'Marathon Man', famous film with Dustin Hoffman."
"Film student? What you do here? Never mind, get out! We waste time."
. . . . .
I got very tired and hungry. They left me alone for awhile and I heard heated discussions going on somewhere close by. Then someone came in with a plate of food and hot tea, hallelujah! He untied my hands and pointed to the food. Then he just left...
...I quickly ate and drank some, always keeping my eye on the door, expecting them to come back at any moment... But they didn't. I untied my legs and quietly went to the door. It was unlocked!!! I mean: it was unlocked.. I slowly opened the door and looked into a long and empty corridor. My male intuition told me to go right. The door at the end was slightly ajar. I peered in and saw several guards watching tv. A Russian version of Big Brother was on. Only when I moved away did I notice a sign, stating in clear English: 'All Westerners are adviced against escaping. Especially, stay away from door at end of corridor.' I went the other way, opened the door and stared into a dark back alley...
This was too good to be true. And looking back at it now... They meant for me to flee, so I could lead them to my 'Russian contact'. Do they really think my name is Loofah Bond? The Film student could have told them they're just movies and there is no James Bond. And if there is, he doesn't have a brother. And if he does, his name is not Loofah. And if it is, he won't make a trip to Russia wearing white-green shoes. And if he does... Oh falderda blah di blah vodka!
My dog, I'm tired. My host offered me a bed. I'll sleep for a few hours, darling, and dream of you. For now, I seem to be safe. However, I'll keep my white-green shoes on. You never know....
I couldn't shake them off. But as I was moving through a series of highrise buildings to confuse them, a door suddenly opened and the tenant said: "In here, quick!" And he has a computer too! I'll start at the beginning, sweets. My way of thinking was that historical places many times evoke romantic feelings. Like London, Paris or Detroit. And I do mean histórical, not hysterical...
So I thought a visit to the Hermitage would be impressive, as well as a walk on the famous Red Square and other places. Yes, I mean good old Russia! I packed some stuff on Sandy's back, mounted and simply said: "Go East, young girl!" Sandy giggled and started to stretch her legs...
On the 7th day we approached the Russian border. Because of all the snow in the area, both Sandy and me were wearing dark sunglasses. Our passing through was always met with lots of giggling and pointing from local villagers. I guess they'd never seen a grown-up man with white-green shoes before...
Right at the border Russian officials observed and sniffed us from all sides, clearly distrustful and not at all happy. I asked if there was a problem. Then the chief, or начальник as they say, pointed down and said: "You pose as tourist with white-green shoes, but I not fool. You British spy, both of you! Your sunglasses are giveaway. Come to check our Elections? I think not!"
For a moment I stared at him completely dumbstruck, then I realized it's a Friday afternoon and he's just making a joke.
"Sure I'm a spy," I remarked cheerily. "The name's Bond. Loofah Bond. Brother of James, the famous one. And this is Sandy the Bush Kangaroo. Sister of Skippy, the other famous one." Sandy looked surprised and a little indignant at this. However..... начальник and colleagues didn't think it funny at all. Pointing to Sandy he yelled: "You all hear it. Take to back lot and check baggage. Check out hump too. Could be satellite dish in disguise!"Before I could protest or ask if he'd ever seen 'The Twilight Zone', my hands got tied behind my back and I got this black hood over my head. Then I was forced into a car and we drove off. начальник was sitting next to me. From time to time he said things like: "We get to your bottom of this, Loofah Bond. They have ways of making Westerners talk."
No words can describe what went on in my mind or even if I still had one. So I'll just say: Kebloin fif zbrdonia mukmuk piiif hoto moto nazdrovje!
Hours later I found myself in this bleak interrogation room. Obviously, as there was a poster on the wall showing an unsmiling president Putin (the only kind available), with English text underneath: 'We have ways of making Westerners talk!'
For a long time, could be days or even hours, they questioned me.
"Your name?"
"Mahaloof.."
"Mahaloof what?"
"Spy. Mahaloof the Spy, you idiot. Let me out of here!"
"Flattery will get you nowhere. Social Security Number?"
"What?! You think I know this from memory? Go play the balalaika!"
"Ah, music lover. What instrument do yóu play, oh smart one?"
"Instrument? Look, I just came here to check out Moscow as a honeymoon destination, that's all."
"That is secret code word for meeting Russian contact? 'Honniemoon'? Very strange..."
. ...Some time later this shady looking man in a long black coat, wearing a hat and sunglasses came in. He looked a bit like Laurence Olivier. The interrogator told him he had 10 minutes exactly. Mr Shady opened a bag revealing all kinds of dental instruments (*shiver*) and slyly asked: "Is it safe?"
I thought to be smart be saying: "Yes, it's safe."
Then he put this spiky thing on my front teeth and asked again: "Is it safe?"
"No! No, it's not safe!" I yelled. (Looking back now I should have recognised it, but I got into a panic).
At this point the interrogator stepped in and asked Shady what his plans were and what exactly was supposed to be safe. Shady told him: "It doesn't really matter. It's a famous..."
"What? Are you Russian Maffia or not?"
"Eh? No, I'm student from Moskva Film Institute. This is scene from 'Marathon Man', famous film with Dustin Hoffman."
"Film student? What you do here? Never mind, get out! We waste time."
. . . . .
I got very tired and hungry. They left me alone for awhile and I heard heated discussions going on somewhere close by. Then someone came in with a plate of food and hot tea, hallelujah! He untied my hands and pointed to the food. Then he just left...
...I quickly ate and drank some, always keeping my eye on the door, expecting them to come back at any moment... But they didn't.
I untied my legs and quietly went to the door. It was unlocked!!! I mean: it was unlocked.. I slowly opened the door and looked into a long and empty corridor. My male intuition told me to go right. The door at the end was slightly ajar. I peered in and saw several guards watching tv. A Russian version of Big Brother was on. Only when I moved away did I notice a sign, stating in clear English: 'All Westerners are adviced against escaping. Especially, stay away from door at end of corridor.' I went the other way, opened the door and stared into a dark back alley...This was too good to be true. And looking back at it now... They meant for me to flee, so I could lead them to my 'Russian contact'. Do they really think my name is Loofah Bond? The Film student could have told them they're just movies and there is no James Bond. And if there is, he doesn't have a brother. And if he does, his name is not Loofah. And if it is, he won't make a trip to Russia wearing white-green shoes. And if he does... Oh falderda blah di blah vodka!
My dog, I'm tired. My host offered me a bed. I'll sleep for a few hours, darling, and dream of you. For now, I seem to be safe. However, I'll keep my white-green shoes on. You never know....
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rescuefire
- Rainbow MegaStar
- Posts: 3406
- Joined: Tue Jun 06, 2006 3:20 pm
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tyteen4a03
- Rainbow AllStar
- Posts: 4386
- Joined: Wed Jul 12, 2006 7:16 am
- Contact:
Mahaloof wrote:historical places many times evoke romantic feelings. Like London, Paris or Detroit.
I've heard of Detroit being a romantic place....but never Paris or London...oh well. Mahaloof wrote:I guess they'd never seen a grown-up man with white-green shoes before...
That's so cool! I have some too! 
Mahaloof wrote:We get to your bottom...of this
They have an odd way with words, don't they...That's so sweet.Mahaloof wrote:I'll sleep for a few hours, darling, and dream of you.
I'll dream about you too! 
By the way..........where IS Sandy?
Please be careful, my brave warrior. You worry me so, and only for a honeymoon destination! Too precious!
Last edited by Dizzy1 on Mon Feb 04, 2008 2:00 am, edited 1 time in total.
Dmitri, my host, is a really wonderful guy. He let me sleep for hours and when I woke up, he had food ready. And a shot of vodka. Just to get the brain going.
Dmitri told me the Secret Service guys lost track of me and apparently concluded I'd managed to escape from the neighbourhood.
"I noticed them wearing dark blue jackets with FSB on the back. But that could mean anything. Like 'Frisian Skating Bond'...."
"Very funny. Actually, it stands for Federalnaja Sloezjba Bezopasnosti Rossijskoj Federatsii."
"Eh? Doesn't sound like they sell ice cream."
"You know the KGB doesn't exist anymore? Well, it does, and this is what it's called nowadays. Putin was chief of it, before he became president."
"Ah, your charismatic leader. A real man of democracy."
"You funny again. So I say: HAHA! We do live in free country. Every man can decide for himself how many times a week he say: Long Live Putin! No pressure. Maybe a bit like in America, yes? Nobody get arrested for criticising Georg Bush, but you just named un-patriotic. Unless you moviestar, then you named decadent."
"Now you are very funny. So I also say: HAHA! But listen, what's the thing with the upcoming Elections? Are they getting nervous?"
"Well, you know, opponents get removed one by one. And they not like observers here. We still not democracy. But I tell you one thing very important: Russian people are kind people. Very hostile. No, hospital."
"You mean hospitable?"
"Thát it is, friend. Yes, Russians are nice and warm people. You will learn."
"Well, I've started already. You're a good man, Dmitri."
Next, I told him what had happened since my arrival at the border. Dmitri looked slightly surprised at Sandy wearing sunglasses, but much stronger was his envy because of my white-green shoes. He then said we were going to have a visitor within the hour. And sure enough, a little while later 3 men arrived, 2 of them apparently acting as bodyguard to the first one. He introduced himself as Gary, which sounded quite American to me. I explained my situation to him and he demanded I put my hand on my heart and swear on the Queen that I am not James Bonds brother and am fully innocent.
"By the way, what is the name of your Queen?"
"Beatrix."
"You like her?"
"No, I never did. She's a stiff tart. It's time for her son Willem to become King."
"OK, now I believe you. Dmitri, находить верблюд тогда отчет! Don't worry, we will locate your Sandy. But first: a little challenge for you. Dmitri goes out, we play game. You win, we help you get back home. You lose... I don't know yet."
"Are you kidding?"
"No. We Russians are warm, but serious people. Westerners make jokes. That is what they are for."
"Alright. Erm, jeepers. Which game?"
"You choose. This free country."
"OK, how about Monopoly?"
"Is capitalist game. We don't have."
"Don't like it anyway. Cardgames, nah. Checkers, boring. What a minute: I've been a local chess champion. You're gonna lose for sure. Know how to play it?"
"Are you kidding, Westerner? Dmitri, bring board, then находить верблюд!"
Gary's eyes lit up in a way I should have paid more attention to. But it was too late...
What happened next had me grab the vodka bottle more times than I intended. We'd hardly started when Gary announced: "In 3 moves I take your Queen and call her Tart Beatrix!"
And sure enough, he did (take my Queen ánd call her that).
Then: "In 3 moves I take your Bishop!"
I said: "Go ahead, I'm an atheist anyway."
"Very funny, Westerner. So I say: HAHA!"
To skip all further details, which I'm trying to block from my memory anyway, after 3 more minutes it was all over.
I challenged him to a 2nd game, thinking this time I'd just go on my male intuition. Now I lost even faster.
On the 3rd go I gave Gary a handicap: playing blindfolded. No difference.
Next, I also put headphones on him with one of Dmitri's CDs: the Moscow Gangstas (Russian Metal). He made me lose face again while shouting: "Unga Balunga, yeah yeah!"
Less than 2 hours later Dmitri came back. He took one look at my quite drunken appearance and simply said: "It doesn't matter. You could cover him in maple syrup and sprinkle muesli and Jelly Beans all over him and you still lose."
I mumbled: "I did that. He's taking a shower now. And yes, I lost."
"That is your punishment for not recognizing him, silly man."
"Eh? Is he famous then?"
"You idiot! That is Garri Kasparov, best chess player ever. He meet your Queen in 1980's. That how he know you speak true about her. Anyway, I have news about Sandy."
That sobered me up in 6.2 seconds or thereabouts. Garri came out of the shower wrapped in a black-and-white towel. I bowed before him and said: "Maestro, please forgive me."
The living legend just smiled gently and gestured for Dmitri to talk. The latter sat down and reported:
"You will not believe. Sandy is in Moscow Zoo. Now, stay calm! And stay sober. She is OK. In fact, it looks like she is having fun. I know it is Sandy for two things. She still wears the sunglasses. By the way, looks good on her. How you say? Way cool! Secondly, is sign next to cage with text: 'This is how far Westerners go to spy on our Motherland. Now they even use camels. But sunglasses betray them! This specimen is called Sandy the Bush Kangaroo.' "
"Erm, can Sandy read the sign?"
"No, is on outside of cage. But certainly she not can read?"
"You'd be surprised. But I'm happy to hear it. She regards kangaroos as silly creatures."
"Well, they are Western animals. But never mind that. There is more. A man is by cage. He charge 10 rubles per child. They go up to Sandy..."
"What?!"
"...and they make this, how do you say, a raspberry? And then, I never see this before, Sandy make it back, Pfffrrrrt!!! Children have lot of fun. Then mothers wash face. I think Sandy has fun too."
"Well, she likes kids. Jeez, I'm relieved to hear she's fine. Thanks, friend. I owe you one."
At this, Dmitri couldn't help looking at my white-green shoes. I made a mental note...
"So Maestro, quod nunc, as the Romans say. Can you help us out here?"
Garri smiled again. "Well, you lost. All of the games. But I knew that. So yes, we make a plan. Don't worry."
"But how...?"
"You rest and let the vodka evaporate. Dmitri and I talk. Then explain in next episode. Later, crocodile!"
Dmitri told me the Secret Service guys lost track of me and apparently concluded I'd managed to escape from the neighbourhood.
"I noticed them wearing dark blue jackets with FSB on the back. But that could mean anything. Like 'Frisian Skating Bond'...."
"Very funny. Actually, it stands for Federalnaja Sloezjba Bezopasnosti Rossijskoj Federatsii."
"Eh? Doesn't sound like they sell ice cream."
"You know the KGB doesn't exist anymore? Well, it does, and this is what it's called nowadays. Putin was chief of it, before he became president."
"Ah, your charismatic leader. A real man of democracy."
"You funny again. So I say: HAHA! We do live in free country. Every man can decide for himself how many times a week he say: Long Live Putin! No pressure. Maybe a bit like in America, yes? Nobody get arrested for criticising Georg Bush, but you just named un-patriotic. Unless you moviestar, then you named decadent."
"Now you are very funny. So I also say: HAHA! But listen, what's the thing with the upcoming Elections? Are they getting nervous?"
"Well, you know, opponents get removed one by one. And they not like observers here. We still not democracy. But I tell you one thing very important: Russian people are kind people. Very hostile. No, hospital."
"You mean hospitable?"
"Thát it is, friend. Yes, Russians are nice and warm people. You will learn."
"Well, I've started already. You're a good man, Dmitri."
Next, I told him what had happened since my arrival at the border. Dmitri looked slightly surprised at Sandy wearing sunglasses, but much stronger was his envy because of my white-green shoes. He then said we were going to have a visitor within the hour. And sure enough, a little while later 3 men arrived, 2 of them apparently acting as bodyguard to the first one. He introduced himself as Gary, which sounded quite American to me. I explained my situation to him and he demanded I put my hand on my heart and swear on the Queen that I am not James Bonds brother and am fully innocent.
"By the way, what is the name of your Queen?"
"Beatrix."
"You like her?"
"No, I never did. She's a stiff tart. It's time for her son Willem to become King."
"OK, now I believe you. Dmitri, находить верблюд тогда отчет! Don't worry, we will locate your Sandy. But first: a little challenge for you. Dmitri goes out, we play game. You win, we help you get back home. You lose... I don't know yet."
"Are you kidding?"
"No. We Russians are warm, but serious people. Westerners make jokes. That is what they are for."
"Alright. Erm, jeepers. Which game?"
"You choose. This free country."
"OK, how about Monopoly?"
"Is capitalist game. We don't have."
"Don't like it anyway. Cardgames, nah. Checkers, boring. What a minute: I've been a local chess champion. You're gonna lose for sure. Know how to play it?"
"Are you kidding, Westerner? Dmitri, bring board, then находить верблюд!"
Gary's eyes lit up in a way I should have paid more attention to. But it was too late...
What happened next had me grab the vodka bottle more times than I intended. We'd hardly started when Gary announced: "In 3 moves I take your Queen and call her Tart Beatrix!"
And sure enough, he did (take my Queen ánd call her that).
Then: "In 3 moves I take your Bishop!"
I said: "Go ahead, I'm an atheist anyway."
"Very funny, Westerner. So I say: HAHA!"
To skip all further details, which I'm trying to block from my memory anyway, after 3 more minutes it was all over.
I challenged him to a 2nd game, thinking this time I'd just go on my male intuition. Now I lost even faster.
On the 3rd go I gave Gary a handicap: playing blindfolded. No difference.
Next, I also put headphones on him with one of Dmitri's CDs: the Moscow Gangstas (Russian Metal). He made me lose face again while shouting: "Unga Balunga, yeah yeah!"
Less than 2 hours later Dmitri came back. He took one look at my quite drunken appearance and simply said: "It doesn't matter. You could cover him in maple syrup and sprinkle muesli and Jelly Beans all over him and you still lose."
I mumbled: "I did that. He's taking a shower now. And yes, I lost."
"That is your punishment for not recognizing him, silly man."
"Eh? Is he famous then?"
"You idiot! That is Garri Kasparov, best chess player ever. He meet your Queen in 1980's. That how he know you speak true about her. Anyway, I have news about Sandy."
That sobered me up in 6.2 seconds or thereabouts. Garri came out of the shower wrapped in a black-and-white towel. I bowed before him and said: "Maestro, please forgive me."
The living legend just smiled gently and gestured for Dmitri to talk. The latter sat down and reported:
"You will not believe. Sandy is in Moscow Zoo. Now, stay calm! And stay sober. She is OK. In fact, it looks like she is having fun. I know it is Sandy for two things. She still wears the sunglasses. By the way, looks good on her. How you say? Way cool! Secondly, is sign next to cage with text: 'This is how far Westerners go to spy on our Motherland. Now they even use camels. But sunglasses betray them! This specimen is called Sandy the Bush Kangaroo.' "
"Erm, can Sandy read the sign?"
"No, is on outside of cage. But certainly she not can read?"
"You'd be surprised. But I'm happy to hear it. She regards kangaroos as silly creatures."
"Well, they are Western animals. But never mind that. There is more. A man is by cage. He charge 10 rubles per child. They go up to Sandy..."
"What?!"
"...and they make this, how do you say, a raspberry? And then, I never see this before, Sandy make it back, Pfffrrrrt!!! Children have lot of fun. Then mothers wash face. I think Sandy has fun too."
"Well, she likes kids. Jeez, I'm relieved to hear she's fine. Thanks, friend. I owe you one."
At this, Dmitri couldn't help looking at my white-green shoes. I made a mental note...
"So Maestro, quod nunc, as the Romans say. Can you help us out here?"
Garri smiled again. "Well, you lost. All of the games. But I knew that. So yes, we make a plan. Don't worry."
"But how...?"
"You rest and let the vodka evaporate. Dmitri and I talk. Then explain in next episode. Later, crocodile!"
This heat up my already warm Russian heart!Dmitri, my host, is a really wonderful guy.
I like Mahaloof also. Is very nice man, but also bit naïve. I told him FSB is successor to KGB, but is actually Frisian Skating Bond. (HA! Mahaloof teached me how to make joke).I'm sorry. Here Dmitri! I forget to say, Mahaloof ask me to make report back to you. He give me password, yes? Mahaloof Bond (another joke! I learning) and Sandy have crossed border now. On the way home, way cool!
So this happened. Garri ask me to check out 10-ruble man in zoo. By Sandy's cage, recommember? He say his name is Borak or Barat, I keep forgetting. He was reporter in Kazakhstan, then lost job and came to Moscow. He now caretaker in zoo. I explain Sandy is nice camel and he must help. Borot say he make extra money and not want to lose. Then I tell caretaker of Sandy is Loofah Bond, brother of James. Barak get very excite and say OK I help. He then ask if Loofah Bond want nucular weapon from Kazakhstan. I say it is 'nuclear' and NO he just want camel and go home. Barok still very excite and say OK tonight.
So at 23.45, which we call 'a quarter to vodka' (joke # 3!), Garri and Mahaloof make goodbye.
Garri say: "Next time, I will lose from you. I promise."
Loofah reply: "Very funny. So I say: HAHA!"
He try to hide, but I see Loofah have tear in his eye, and not from chess games... They embrace and kiss. We Russians warm people, yes?
Later, is maybe 1 of clock at night, we climb over wall to zoo. We go to desert animal house to meet Robat. We arrive very quiet. Rabot is excite to meet brother of James, but also too is confused. He say: "I think is problem. Look."
And enough sure, in front of Sandys cage are stage lights and 15 Kremlin guards. I know is them, because on back of uniform it say '15 Kremlin guards'. Russians warmheart people, but not subtle, I so say myself.
Mahaloof whisper to me: "Jeepers, what do we do now? If I wás a spy, I'd probably know." (Maybe some body tell me what Jeeper mean?)
I back whisper: "Not say to Borok. He think you áre spy. That why he help. For now, we wait and see what going to happen."
I feel not good about situation, but actually it was best night of my life! I mean: best night of my life...
After maybe 10 minutes more perhaps there was movement from side door and I could not believe.
Big chief himself, Joseph Vissarionovich Putin walk to cage of Sandy, in company of important general. I know, because on back of jacket it say 'General' and they all important in Russia. Putin say to general: "So this is the camel spy? And what do children exactly?"Mr Uniform explain and then Putin go up to Sandy and he do
raspberry! I never see Big Chief do this on Russian tv. Honest! Of course then Sandy make raspberry back in face of Putin... My heart stand still.
Loofah heart stand still.
Robok whisper: "my heart stand still."
...Then.... Putin speak with straight face: "Is very funny. So I say: HAHA!"
Mr General give towel to Putin, but chief go forward again and he say: "One more time..." He make raspberry again and I can see he like it. Is Western sillyness, so never done before....
But:
Sandy not move. Putin confused. General confused. We all confused. Sandy look in eye of Putin very intense. Then she turn around and ( I cannot believe) lift up tail and let go!!! Big chief Putin stand struck dumb and totally wet from bottom to head! General and 15 Kremlin guards do not laugh. They very smart.
Loofah mouth is open and eyes big.
Barot is choking on ground, very quiet.
I think: Is best night of my life. Garri should be here...
Chief Putin slowly turn around and speak with very very straight face: "Funny. Execute at dawn." General give towel to Putin, but he shake head and say: "Nyet, слабоумный!" (is not very nice word). Then chief go in door and disappear...
...5 minutes later everybody away. Rabat open door of Sandys cage. He still a bit shaken, but not stirred. Loofah and Sandy very very happy to see again.
I see from both the eyes are wet, and not from raspberry. We thank Borok for help. He get two pair of dark sunglasses, very excite, bye bye!Few hours later then we stand close to Russian border. Is open field, but with guardhouses on 2 sides. Almost daylight. I explain that already Sandy is famous. Was also on Russian news tv. So guards will recognise shape of camel. How we solve last problem?
Then Loofah take Sandy apart and make plan. I see Sandy shake head and look very...how you say?.... insulted! Loofah speak again and Sandy angry, I think. Finally Loofah come back to make goodbye and say they have plan.
"I promised her that for the next month I'll read 2 stories of 1001 Nights every day. The only thing that works."
Loofah thanked me again and again, then gave me password for website here. I confess our eyes were wet, and not from morning dew. Then Loofah said: "Oh, one more thing, Dmitri," and he pointed down....
I stand at edge of field and see them both disappear, Sandy hopping away like a kangaroo to confuse guards. When they gone, I turn around and walk away on new white-green shoes. And even if Russians are very warm people, I say: Way Cool!
hmmmmmm........ in 4 yeaqrs mabeDizzy1 wrote:May I borrow yours? I'll pm you my address. (I swear I will only keep it for a few y....... days.)DEEMAN223344 wrote:of corse you did not get a wii they where sold out and mine is 1 year old!
Don't judge a person by his look,but his heart
Anytime, Anyplace, Adventure Always Awaits!
Last edited by Loof on 1/1/19999999999999999 BC; edited 98998 in total.
Anytime, Anyplace, Adventure Always Awaits!
Last edited by Loof on 1/1/19999999999999999 BC; edited 98998 in total.