Jokes!!!

Archive of the first decade of Off Topic Posts
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Clifford
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Jokes!!!

Post by Clifford » Mon May 26, 2008 10:41 pm

Lions

You're sleeping.

You have 7 bullets, 2 lions come you use 2 up, 5 remainding.

Then another 4 lions come, use 4, 1 remainding

Then another comes along use up last,

Now there's lions everywere.

What do you do???

DO NOT POST WHEN LOOKED AT SPOILER:

Wake Up!!!
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wonderland01
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Post by wonderland01 » Mon May 26, 2008 10:45 pm

Um, let's see, RUN! :lol: :lol:
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dlcs18
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Post by dlcs18 » Mon May 26, 2008 10:49 pm

Um... Wake up???? HA HA! :P

There is a 1-floor house with a basement. Everything in the house is blue, the curtains are blue, the walls are blue, the doors, windows... all blue. So uhh what colour are the stairs????
dlcs18
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mqdar
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Post by mqdar » Tue May 27, 2008 1:04 am

Well, the stairs wouldn't be blue, would they? (when you wrote :P , did you mean, "NOT!"?)

Riddle:
You are in a pitch black room. You find the light switch, and flick it, but nothing happens. Suddenly, the light turns on! But the room is still dark. What had happened?
Skype wrote:[7:23:42 AM] Darx: Click here to give me an internet!
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maxnick
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Post by maxnick » Tue May 27, 2008 1:10 am

A black light?? :lol: :lol:
Uijt jt nz tjhobuvsf.
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wonderland01
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Post by wonderland01 » Tue May 27, 2008 1:11 am

There is a power outage.

A man is going the opposite way on a one way street. A policeman spots him, but doesn't stop him. Why?
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Dizzy1
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Post by Dizzy1 » Tue May 27, 2008 1:18 am

The man is walking... :D
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mqdar
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Post by mqdar » Tue May 27, 2008 1:19 am

The policeman is walking on the pathway?
You're wrong about mine. Answer: :idea:
Skype wrote:[7:23:42 AM] Darx: Click here to give me an internet!
[7:23:57 AM] 'a'a: *clicks here*
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Clifford
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Post by Clifford » Tue May 27, 2008 5:20 am

dlcs18 wrote:Um... Wake up???? HA HA! :P

There is a 1-floor house with a basement. Everything in the house is blue, the curtains are blue, the walls are blue, the doors, windows... all blue. So uhh what colour are the stairs????
Correct!

Easy! Blue!
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wonderland01
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Post by wonderland01 » Tue May 27, 2008 5:22 am

correct Dizzy! :D :D :)
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Clifford
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Post by Clifford » Tue May 27, 2008 5:24 am

mqdar wrote:Well, the stairs wouldn't be blue, would they? (when you wrote :P , did you mean, "NOT!"?)

Riddle:
You are in a pitch black room. You find the light switch, and flick it, but nothing happens. Suddenly, the light turns on! But the room is still dark. What had happened?
Black Light???
Blackout???
Ran out of batterry???
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mqdar
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Post by mqdar » Tue May 27, 2008 6:36 am

Clifford, Dlcs18 said, "Everything in the house is blue" so the stairs aren't! I mean, I think. :lol:

Answer to mine:
"The light turns on" can mean, "I just got an idea! :idea: "
Skype wrote:[7:23:42 AM] Darx: Click here to give me an internet!
[7:23:57 AM] 'a'a: *clicks here*
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peegman
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Post by peegman » Tue May 27, 2008 7:06 am

dlcs18 wrote:Um... Wake up???? HA HA! :P

There is a 1-floor house with a basement. Everything in the house is blue, the curtains are blue, the walls are blue, the doors, windows... all blue. So uhh what colour are the stairs????
No it's a 1 floor building so there are no stairs
yee
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dlcs18
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Post by dlcs18 » Tue May 27, 2008 12:48 pm

AHA!!!!!!! :twisted: :twisted: :twisted:
I KNEW I COULD TRICK YOU GUYS!!!!!!!!!

The stairs ARE blue. I did say the building had a basement didn't I? :twisted: :twisted: :twisted: :lol:
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Dizzy1
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Post by Dizzy1 » Tue May 27, 2008 4:16 pm

A 6-foot tall Magician had a water glass and was holding the glass above his head. He let it drop to the carpet without spilling a single drop of water.

How could he manage to drop the glass from a height of six feet and not spill a drop of water? :mrgreen:
Marinus
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Post by Marinus » Tue May 27, 2008 4:23 pm

I think it's a kind of magic my queen 8)
http://nl.youtube.com/watch?v=uNM7zL-kLQc
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mqdar
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Post by mqdar » Tue May 27, 2008 8:03 pm

Dizzy, the glass didn't have water in it did it? :twisted:
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dlcs18
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Post by dlcs18 » Tue May 27, 2008 8:40 pm

Dizzy1 wrote:A 6-foot tall Magician had a water glass and was holding the glass above his head. He let it drop to the carpet without spilling a single drop of water.

How could he manage to drop the glass from a height of six feet and not spill a drop of water? :mrgreen:
He didn't manage to spill JUST a drop of water... He managed to spill ALL of the water!!!
dlcs18
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TheoX
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Post by TheoX » Tue May 27, 2008 9:25 pm

I agree with mqdar's answer.
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Dizzy1
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Post by Dizzy1 » Tue May 27, 2008 9:31 pm

mqdar wrote:Dizzy, the glass didn't have water in it did it? :twisted:
:D Correct! 8) :lol:

Edit: TheoX, you're correct too. 8) :lol:
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dlcs18
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Post by dlcs18 » Tue May 27, 2008 9:48 pm

Don't I just suck xD

Uhh I'll think of another one...

There is a wide river
You have to cross it with your boat
You have 1 duck and 2 bags o' corn
You can carry only one thing at a time on the boat
You must get them all across.
If the duck is left with a bag of corn then he will eat it.
MAKE SURE HE DOESN'T EAT IT!
So how are you supposed to get all 3 things across without the duck eating corn???
EDIT: By the way. The duck can't swim. WHAT A STUPID DUCK, WHAT IS WRONG WITH HIS LUCK???
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maxnick
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Post by maxnick » Tue May 27, 2008 9:56 pm

Can the duck FLY over???
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Dizzy1
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Post by Dizzy1 » Tue May 27, 2008 9:56 pm

dlcs18 wrote:Don't I just suck xD

Uhh I'll think of another one...
OMG you're so funny! :lol: :lol: :lol:

Man oh Man, your riddle is a tough one....I'm gonna be thinking about this one for a bit. :D
ggeordie
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Post by ggeordie » Tue May 27, 2008 10:09 pm

take the duck across go back get a bag of corn take corn across leave the corn and get the duck go back leave the duck get the other bag of corn take it across leave with other bag of corn go back and get the duck
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Dizzy1
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Post by Dizzy1 » Tue May 27, 2008 10:15 pm

Oh my gosh ggeordie, that's got to be correct. I feel so stuuuuuupid..............now why didn't I think of that? Please tell me??? I didn't think you could. :lol: :lol: :lol:

...so anyway, where's YOUR riddle? :D
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dlcs18
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Post by dlcs18 » Tue May 27, 2008 10:15 pm

ggeordie wrote:take the duck across go back get a bag of corn take corn across leave the corn and get the duck go back leave the duck get the other bag of corn take it across leave with other bag of corn go back and get the duck
Exactly :D :D :D

BTW: My sig at the moment is a Prologue of a weird funny story I'm making
Last edited by dlcs18 on Tue May 27, 2008 10:17 pm, edited 2 times in total.
dlcs18
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Post by ggeordie » Tue May 27, 2008 10:16 pm

I can solve them sometimes but I'm not so good at making them up
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Dizzy1
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Post by Dizzy1 » Tue May 27, 2008 10:27 pm

What 11-letter English word does everyone pronounce incorrectly?
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dlcs18
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Post by dlcs18 » Tue May 27, 2008 10:31 pm

"incorrectly"
LOL THAT WAS QUICK xD
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Post by ggeordie » Tue May 27, 2008 10:32 pm

incorrectly
Locked