The Cat sent me this and I thought it should be shared.
Hope you don't mind Cathy.
I OWE MY MOTHER!!
> >1. My mother taught me TO APPRECIATE A JOB WELL DONE. >"If you're going to kill each other, do it outside. I just finished >cleaning."
> >2. My mother taught me RELIGION. >"You better pray that will come out of the carpet." >
>3. My mother taught me about TIME TRAVEL. >"If you don't straighten up, I'm going to knock you into the middle of next >week!"
> >4. My mother taught me LOGIC. >" Because I said so, that's why."
> >5. My mother taught me MORE LOGIC. >"If you fall out of that swing and break your neck, you're not going to the >store with me."
> >6. My mother taught me FORESIGHT. >"Make sure you wear clean underwear, in case you're in an accident."
> >7. My mother taught me IRONY. >"Keep crying, and I'll give you something to cry about."
> >8. My mother taught me about the science of OSMOSIS. >"Shut your mouth and eat your supper."
> >9. My mother taught me about CONTORTIONISM. >"Will you look at that dirt on the back of your neck!"
> >10. My mother taught me about STAMINA. >"You'll sit there until all that spinach is gone."
> >11. My mother taught me about WEATHER. >"This room of yours looks as if a tornado went through it."
> >12 My mother taught me about HYPOCRISY. >"If I told you once, I've told you a million times. Don't exaggerate!"
> >13. My mother taught me the CIRCLE OF LIFE. >"I brought you into this world, and I can take you out ."
> >14. My mother taught me about BEHAVIOR MODIFICATION. >"Stop acting like your father!"
> >15. My mother taught me about ENVY. >"There are millions of less fortunate children in this world who don't have >wonderful parents like you do."
> >16. My mother taught me about ANTICIPATION. >"Just wait until we get home."
> >17. My mother taught me about RECEIVING. >"Yo u are going to get it when you get home!"
> >18. My mother taught me MEDICAL SCIENCE. >"If you don't stop crossing your eyes, they are going to freeze that way."
> >19. My mother taught me ESP. >"Put your sweater on; don't you think I know when you are cold?"
> >20. My mother taught me HUMOR. >"When that lawn mower cuts off your toes, don't come running to me."
> >21. My mother taught me HOW TO BECOME AN ADULT. >"If you don't eat your vegetables, you'll never grow up."
> >22. My mother taught me GENETICS. >"You're just like your father."
> >23. My mother taught me about my ROOTS. >"Shut that door behind you. Do you think you were born in a barn?"
> >24. My mother taught me WISDOM. >"When you get to be my age, you'll understand."
> >25. And my favorite: My mother taught me about JUSTICE. >"One day you'll have kids, and I hope they turn out just like you!"